12 Rules for Life
If you’ve been following me for a time now, you’d have probably noticed that I’m fond of non-fiction and self-help books. In fact, I published my short reviews of 46 books I read in 2021 a while back. If you enjoyed that and would love to read more in-depth reviews, allow me to start with 12 Rules for Life: An Antidote to Chaos by the psychologist, professor, and YouTube personality, Jordan B. Peterson.
Here’s a summary of Peterson's 12 Rules for Life based on psychology, religion, abstract ethical principles, personal anecdotes, and even mythology. But brace yourself—these aren’t like the usual tips or advice you’re used to reading from typical self-help books. You might even find some of these trivial at the very least. So let me share with you what I think of them and which ones I agree with, and I hope you’d also share your thoughts in the comments below!
Rule #1: "Stand up straight with your shoulders back."
See what I mean when I say some of the rules are trivial? This is excellent advice, nevertheless. Notice how you suddenly feel confident when you stand or sit up straight like you're ready for whatever people and life throw at you? Well if you deep dive into Jordan Petersnon’s “lobster psychology” you will find a couple of biological evidences of why standing tall actually tricks your brain into feeling better. If this deep dive is not for you, it’s ok – still, stand tall and don’t slouch. Thing will get better for you.
Rule #2. "Treat yourself like someone you are responsible for helping."
Put your mask first, before helping others. Helping others is good, however, there are times when we’re too preoccupied with helping others that we forget to help ourselves. It is especially common among parents. Moms and dads tend to do everything for their children, sacrificing so much to the point of forgetting about their own welfare. Meanwhile they forget about a very important aspect of putting themselves essentially in a position of failure, because they lack energy, motivation and patience.
Rule #3. "Befriend people who want the best for you." You don’t need negative people in your circle, period. Communicate with people who encourage you, and vice versa. Surround yourself with friends who make you feel good and genuinely want the best for you. It is a solid advice which was repeated 100,000 times, yet never lost it relevance because it’s so hard to implement.
Rule #4. "Compare yourself to who you were yesterday, not to who someone else is today."
Take a look back to when you only wished for the things you have right now: a stable job, a smartphone, a laptop, a car, a house, or your own family. Social media has made it easy for people to compare themselves with others. So, whenever you notice yourself sinking into that pit of negativity, change how you think. Instead of comparing yourself with other people, think about how your life has changed for the better. “There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man; true nobility is being superior to your former self.” © Ernest Hemingway
Rule #5. "Do not let your children do anything that makes you dislike them."
I will skip this one and will let actual parents comment bellow what they think
Rule #6. "Set your house in perfect order before you criticize the world."
Find your area of influence and make it right. Then look outwards, find your next circle and make it right again. Put yourself in order first, put your house in order and you feel how the desire to criticize the world is slowly fading away. Doing things is hard, doing them right – even harder. Start fixing what you can and you will have more compassion towards others.
Rule #7. "Pursue what is meaningful, not what is expedient."
This ties back nicely to Steven Covey’s “putting first things first”. In a modern life full of distraction, it is almost impossible to focus on meaningful work or other activities. You are constantly bombarded with messages, notifications, calls and other attention hijackers. Yet, the true growth only happens when you are focusing on what is essential and important. Close your eyes, put your head down and Focus.
Rule #8. "Tell the truth or, at least, don't lie."
You can lie to others to get what you want or lie to yourself to make yourself feel better, but when deep down you know what the truth is, it will haunt you. Sometimes, we lie to protect others. However, even though the truth may hurt, it will only be painful for a little while. A lie will hurt forever. You don’t have to be an a-hole by the way; there are ways to be honest & straightforward without losing empathy towards others.
Rule #9. "Assume that the person you are listening to might know something you don’t."
Shut up and listen. Listen carefully to what others have to say. Never shut down other people’s ideas just because they’re different from yours. Furthermore, don’t assume that you’re always better. Everyone knows something that you don’t. Take every chance to learn from everyone you meet.
Rule #10. "Be precise in your speech."
Don’t assume that people will get what you mean all the time. Be specific when telling people what you need and feel. They can’t read your mind. Use stories and analogies, help them understand through references. Don’t wiggle with words, stay on point and deliver the messages.
Rule #11. "Do not bother children when they are skateboarding."
Should you stop kids when they take a risk? This is a question Peterson asked in his book.The intuitive response, especially among parents, is to keep children away from dangerous activities such as skateboarding. However, refusing to let your children take a risk is more dangerous in the long run. You don’t want your children to grow up sheltered, unaware of what the real world has in store for them.
Rule #12. "Pet a cat when you encounter one in the street."
Here’s another trivial piece of advice, but if we take a deeper look, it’s like telling us to make the most of what we have around us. When you see a cat on the street, pet it. You might instantly feel better!
Final Thoughts:
You don’t have to agree with Peterson’s 12 Rules for Life. Heck, you don’t have to agree with Peterson at all (especially with his YouTube part of the persona). Still, I find it it’s difficult to dismiss that most of these pieces of advice are timeless and essential. Now, if these rules don’t connect with you, feel free to challenge yourself and set your own rules! Share some below, if you will.